“I want it now!” “Why can’t I have it?” “No, you listen to me!”
Do these phrases sound familiar? Does your child demand what he wants? Does your child act as if he is entitled? It is not a becoming quality to witness in a child or anyone. Even the Apostle Paul stated covetousness was a sin he struggled with (Romans 7:8).
Here are some ideas to help prevent your child from becoming an overbearing, demanding, rude child.
1. Children need to understand that the world does not revolve around them or any one person.
They need to learn how to be respectful. During a conversation, make sure they wait until it is their time to speak. Don’t interrupt your children when they are speaking. Make sure to make eye contact with them when they speak and give them your full attention. More is caught than taught. They will learn from you that respect goes both ways. “Every person must respect his mother and father” (Leviticus 19:3).
2. Don’t become your child’s maid.
Make sure he has assigned chores, including being responsible to clean up after himself. If your child wants something, he should get it unless he physically can’t. If he’s old enough to do it and able to do it on his own, he needs to do it! Having your child do things for himself teaches him biblical stewardship. It is not only your family’s house, it is God’s house because he owns all things. Your child should learn to work for the Lord. “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters …” (Colossians 3:23).
3. When your child receives a gift, make sure she understands that the present is not really the gift at all. The true gift is the who has a desire to be giving and loving.
If your child is ungrateful when receiving a gift, it shows she feels entitled and is being selfish. Make sure she understands that every good gift comes from God. Ask your child how she would feel if God felt she was not thankful for His many gifts? “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows” (James 1:17).
4. Teach your child not to expect a reward every time he does something good.
It is okay to occasionally reward your child but it if he demands a reward or becomes angry when you do not meet his expectations, it’s time to address his behavior. Tell him that the greatest rewards will be given in heaven and will last forever. God sees all your child does and says. “Rejoice and be glad, for your reward in heaven is great…” (Matthew 5:12).
5. Have you noticed that when everyone is helping to clear the dishes off the table after dinner, your child does not offer to help?
Or worse, complains about helping? Explain that there are consequences for that type of behavior — perhaps she will not get to eat dinner the next day. In 2 Thessalonians 3:10, the Apostle Paul wrote: “For even when we were with you, we would give you this command: If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat.”
6. Distractions do not always work.
Do you give your child a treat when you are shopping just to keep him quiet? This will encourage their entitled behavior. It is better to leave the store and offer a punishment for his rude behavior when you arrive home. Perhaps, he will not be allowed to go to that store for a while, or maybe he’ll lose a privilege for a certain amount of time. In Proverbs 22:15, it says, “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of discipline will remove it far from him.” Discipline according to the offense.
7. Can your child handle disappointment?
Does she throw a fit when she doesn’t get her way or didn’t get what she wanted? Does she get angry at you or others, or perhaps cries uncontrollably? Life is full of disappointments, and what our children expect and want does not always happen. I’m sure you have heard the well-known Christian saying, “Our disappointments are God’s appointments” Try to teach your child that sometimes we don’t get what we want because God has something better for us. Proverbs 3:5-8 states, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.”
Transformation takes time. It starts with God’s word being instilled and parent’s godly actions being observed. It is never too early or late to start transforming your child to be a servant to others and a servant for Christ.
Other Resources:
An excellent book I recommend is The “Me, Me, Me” Epidemic: A Step-by-Step Guide to Raising Capable, Grateful Kids in an Over-Entitled World, by Amy McCready, who is the founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. https://www.amazon.com/Me-Epidemic-Step-Step-Over-Entitled/dp/0399184864
