As I’m sure you know, we, as human beings, don’t always respond correctly when our patience is being tested.
Even if we try and be gentle parents, we sometimes lose control and yell at our children when we are disciplining. Emotional reactivity and knee-jerk responses can sometimes turn us into the Incredible Hulk, the big angry superhero who only knows how to express his emotions with rage and anger.
During this episode, Lee Ann elaborates on the following points about having the parental responsibility to our children to teach them to react to situations accordingly when disciplining:
- We as parents are responsible for our own emotions and reactions not for our kids’ responses; but we are responsible to guide them in making wise choices without using tactics such as screaming and bullying.
- We cannot always control what our kids say and do – our goal is to influence them, not to control them.
- When we resort to screaming at our kids, our kids are not hearing the actual message or lesson; they hear the anger behind the screaming, and disciplining means to teach and instruct, NOT scold.
- When we get reactive and become aggressive, we exhibit immature behavior that our children mimic.
- Try to avoid the pitfalls that can cause us to lose control.
- Kids operate off the “pleasure principle.”
Disciplining our children requires patience and understanding. We should try our best to be more flexible in our schedules, tolerate uncertainty, go with the flow, don’t make promises we can’t keep, and find joy in every situation and all outcomes!
Resources:
- “How to Keep Your Cool and Stop Yelling at Your Kids” by Julie Davis.
- “These Parents Never, Ever, Yell” (episode 38) by Lee Ann Mancini.
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