When we find out that our children have acted unethically, sometimes we dismiss their behavior, telling ourselves that all children will fib, be rude, or act unethically at this age. We convince ourselves that they will grow out of it once they are older and know how to reason better. However, the fact that we engage in unethical behavior proves that we do not completely “grow out of it.”
Children witness what we say and do and what others around them say and do. There is a well-known adage:
“Watch your thoughts, they become words;
Watch your words, they become actions;
Watch your actions, they become habits;
Watch your habits, they become character;
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”
- As parents, we need to examine our actions and ask ourselves if we are modeling the godly ethics that Christ desires for us to instill in our children. Matthew 7:5, which states, “You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”
- Has your child witness lies from the politicians or an adult confessing to having spoken untruthful words? “Children observe active lying by the adults in their lives.(One research study found that adults admit to lying an average of thirteen times a week!) We all tell lies of convenience, and our children watch and learn.”[1]
- Children will lie out of fear. Perhaps to protect a friend, or to avoid a punishment or make themselves feel better. My Sea Kids book, What a Bragger! addresses this issue. Melissa brags about owning things that she does not have. When her classmates at school find out that she lies to try to fit in better, they pray for her and show her kindness and acceptance. In the end, she learns that her friends love her for who she is and not for what she pretends to have.
- Instilling godly, moral ethics begins as soon as a child can comprehend words.Don’t make the mistake of thinking your children’s actions are just a phase, not when those actions can become a life-long habit. Discuss the reasons underlying any unethical behavior in your children, and most importantly, be a living example for them.
The Bible exhorts us, “And you yourself must be an example to them by doing good works of every kind. Let everything you do reflect the integrity and seriousness of your teaching” (Titus 2:7).
[1] http://www.scholastic.com/parents/resources/article/stages-milestones/truth-about-lying
