“When we detach value from certain behavior and attach it to what Christ says is the most valuable, then we’re not sending our kids back into that comparison trap.” – Lee Nienhuis
Lee Nienhuis is an author, speaker, and Bible teacher. She co-hosts the Martha & Mary Show and the You Can Tell the Children podcast with Bible2School. Lee’s books Brave Moms, Brave Kids and Countercultural Parenting are a clarion call for parents looking to raise wholehearted Christ followers. Lee and her husband, Mike, have four kids and live in West Michigan.
During this episode, Lee Nienhuis discusses her newest book, which she co-authored with Shannon Hopkin, Comparison Girl for Teens, and how it can help teens navigate the complex world of teenage comparison and peer pressure. Lee shares practical tips and steps parents can take to foster an environment of support, affirmation, and biblical values, steering their daughters away from the pitfalls of comparison.
Key Takeaways:
- Focus on having regular and meaningful conversations with your teenagers. This can help build a trusting relationship where they feel comfortable discussing their struggles and triumphs.
- Model positive behavior and be mindful of your own comparisons and criticisms, especially in front of your children. Avoid self-deprecating comments about your appearance or abilities.
- Instead of comparing your teenagers to others, highlight and encourage their unique strengths and talents. Praise their efforts and the qualities that make them special.
- Emphasize biblical values by helping your children understand their worth through the lens of their faith. Use biblical statements of value and worth that emphasize God’s love and purpose for them, independent of societal metrics.
- If you realize you’ve made unfair comparisons or set unrealistic expectations, sit down with your child and apologize. This models humility and the importance of seeking forgiveness.
- Be proactive in managing your teenager’s time on social media. Encourage offline activities that build self-worth and community.
- Teach your teens that success isn’t solely about academic achievements or career milestones but about being in the center of God’s will and being faithful, kind, and loving individuals.
- Invest in helpful resources like the Comparison Girl for Teens. These tools can provide structured guidance and topics for family discussions that foster spiritual growth.
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