Did you know that experts say around age 5 or 6 is when feelings of romantic love begin to form?
It can be challenging to navigate the topic of romance and relationships with our children, especially at a young age. Scientists say falling in love is a complex process and that our brains are hard-wired to give our emotions the upper hand over common sense. Falling in love is a beautiful and strong emotion, but it can be dangerous for children if we ignore, belittle, or dismiss their feelings.
Here are a few warning signs to watch for, not only in young children but in pre-teens and teens as well:
- Are these strong emotions affecting their sleep? Do they stay up thinking about what they should have said or done? Are they heartbroken or too sad and embarrassed to tell you?
- Is it impacting their academic performance? Are their grades falling? Are they disinterested in homework or no longer want to participate in extracurricular activities or sports they love?
- Are they making poor decisions?
During this episode, Lee Ann elaborates on the following tips to help children of all ages understand romance and how to be wise in handling relationships:
- Explain to your children that God created us to have different kinds of love and explain those different kinds of love: romantic love between adults, love between friends, love between family members, or agape love for God (Reference John 15:12).
- Model healthy relationships and let them witness the different types of love.
- Discuss God’s plan regarding relationships and help them understand the importance of seeking God’s guidance.
- Discuss the importance of purity. Talk about the value of respecting oneself and others by remaining pure in mind and body.
- Help them to set clear boundaries and understand the importance of establishing healthy boundaries and avoiding physical contact that can lead to temptation.
- Beware of the effects of social media, television, and fairytales. Children can get a twisted view of what is real and pure love.
- We need to fully grasp that many children are not mature enough to handle romantic relationships. The prefrontal cortex, which regulates our thoughts, actions, and emotions, does not mature until our late 20s; but we must be gentle and not shut down their feelings.
Overall, teaching children about romance and relationships is an ongoing process that requires patience, guidance, and prayer. Addressing these topics early on can help your child develop a healthy, Christ-centered view of love and intimacy. Children who learn to fall in love with Jesus will want to model his character and morals!
Resources mentioned: “Teaching Kids About Sexuality and Purity: Seven Godly Moms Who Got it Right,” by Taylor Johnson, and “Teaching Kids About Love,” by Meaningful Mama.
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