Guest Blogger Lori Wildenberg is a licensed parent-family educator, national speaker, and author of six parenting books including The Messy Life of Parenting: Powerful and Practical Ways to Strengthen Family Connections and the multi- award-winning book, Messy Hope: Help Your Child Overcome Anxiety, Depression, or Suicidal Ideation. Lori’s passion is to help families create relationships that last a lifetime. Articles by Lori can be found at Focus on the Family, Mom Life Today, Crosswalk and more. Lori leads the popular Moms Together Facebook group and page, and is a co-host of MOMents with Lori and Lee Ann, a podcast sponsored by Lee Ann Mancini’s Raising Christian Kids. Lori is married to her college sweetheart, has four adult children, three in-loves, and five grandkids. Lori’s first grandparenting book will be released in November of 2025. For more information go to loriwildenberg.com.
As parents and grandparents, we have the privilege and responsibility of speaking life into our children’s hearts. Our words carry weight — they have the power to shape how our kids see themselves, how they relate to others, and how they view God. In today’s fast-paced, often confusing world, it’s more important than ever that our children hear foundational truths that will anchor them through life’s challenges.
There are four critical messages every child needs to hear from the people who love them most:
- You are Loved and Loveable
- You are Capable
- You were Born on Purpose, with Purpose, for a Purpose
- God Is with You
These four messages speak directly to the core of a child’s identity and security. When kids know and believe these four truths, confidence is gained. They will be more able to face life’s struggles and challenges with both faith and courage.
- You are Loved and Loveable
Our kids and grandkids need to know they are loved and loveable. Knowing this satisfies the basic need for security and belonging. They need to know, no matter what, they are loved and loveable. They are valuable and precious to us and to God.
Even if we disagree with certain decisions, beliefs, or life choices our love is unconditional. We accept them, no matter what, even if we disagree. In a world where acceptance is co-mingled with agreement, clarification is needed. We love our kids and grands unconditionally and we accept them no matter what even if we disagree with them. Acceptance and agreement are not the same. We want our kids and grands to know they have a place at the family table, even if we see things differently.
Love and belonging are communicated through consistency and presence. Simple actions like eating meals together, establishing family traditions, and creating time to listen to your child’s heart communicate, “You matter. You belong here.” When kids know they are loved and loveable they feel secure in their place within the family, and are better equipped to navigate relationships, school, and other social situations with confidence. Kids who have a strong sense of security are more willing to take healthy risks, build meaningful relationships, and develop resilience in the face of life’s difficulties.
- You are Capable
Kids face a lot of pressure — from school, social media, and peers. They are expected to be the best at everything like academics, athletics, or the arts. No one can be that person. It is understandable young people today feel overwhelmed and discouraged. That is why the message, “You are capable,” is critical. They need to know, God has given them what it takes to face those challenges.
God blesses and equips every individual with unique talents and skills. Celebrate and acknowledge your loved one’s strengths. Encourage and support them where they struggle. Philippians 4:13 reminds us, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” No one is perfect. This is by divine design. If we were perfect, we would not need one another nor would we need God. Struggles are good. They encourage spiritual growth and are a necessary part of the learning process.
When kids know they are capable, they learn to persevere through hard things rather than give up. Confidence to try new things is developed. And trust in God increases.
- You were Born on Purpose, with Purpose, for a Purpose
Our children need to know that they are not here by accident. God created them intentionally, with specific gifts and a unique calling. Psalm 139:13–14 states, “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”
As parents and grandparents, we can help our kids discover their purpose by identifying their passions. Unique gifting and passion often indicate purpose. When kids understand their lives have meaning and that God has a plan for them, self-worth increases, and a sense of purpose grows. Young people who do not understand their purpose are more likely to experience depression. It is necessary our kids or grandkids know their life matters and has purpose beyond what they can see right now.
- God Is with You
Perhaps the most important message a child can hear is that God is with them. We cannot always be with them, but God is always there. They are never alone. God’s presence is constant. Hebrews 13:5 assures us, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”
Throughout scripture, God tells us He is with us. Share verses like Isaiah 41:10 or Matthew 1:23. Kids need to know that God is with them always. Encourage your children to talk to God about their fears, frustrations, concerns, and joys. Pray with them and show them how to seek God’s guidance and comfort. When they know God is with them, they will be better equipped to face life’s ups and downs.
Let them see your faith in action. When you face challenges, let them hear you pray. When you experience joy, give thanks together. By modeling trust in God’s presence, you help your kids build a foundation of faith that will carry them through life.
Speak Life into Your Child’s Heart
Our children are bombarded daily with messages from the world — some positive, many harmful. As parents and grandparents, we have the opportunity to be the loudest, most loving voices in their lives. By consistently speaking these four critical truths — You are loved and loveable, you were born on purpose with purpose for a purpose, you are capable, and God is always with you — we give our kids the foundation they need to thrive.
Speak life, speak truth, show grace, and watch God work in your child’s heart.
A Special Gift from Lori
Do you want to encourage strength, purpose, and confidence in your kids or grands? Click here to receive your Identity Freebie https://loriwildenberg.com/identity/
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